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Tuesday, February 15, 2011

How to make a fool of yourself

I want everyone to know who might read this, that this story is 100% true. Nothing has been exaggerated or overblown. The year was 2002. I was a junior in high school. There is a tradition for high schools in this great state of Utah concerning dances. When either asking or answering someone to a dance you must do it in some outrageous way. My friends and I loved this and took every chance we had to go all out. This time was no exception.
Each of us had been asked but we wanted to answer as a group. My dear friend had a wonderful idea. A giant poster would be placed on the doorstep of the girl with a big fishing net. The poster would read, " These are my fairies count them one by one. See if you can catch them and read the note on their little bum!" From there little cut out footprints would lead the girl to us group of guys who were dressed up in tights, tutus and fairy wings. The girl would have to catch us with the fishing net and try to get an answer from one of us. The plan was to do this same thing to each girl. We just didn't know that our night would be cut short.
Another friend of ours wanted to come along but was out with his family and needed to meet up with us. We told him to meet us at the 7-11 at the mouth of Big Cottonwood Canyon. We parked our car at the front of the store and waited for him. Now, mind you, we did not have any other clothes on at this time. We didn't think we needed any. We thought we were going to just do this and go home. Then our friend showed up. He pulls up in what we called the Fun Shuttle. It was a 1993 Chevy Astrovan. This is when all hell broke loose!
As he pulled up he wanted to jump out of his car to say 'hi' (He at least had some shorts on). But as he did this he forgot to put the car in park. He got out of the car it began to roll forward. So as he is trying to get back in, say hi to us and put the car in park, instead of pushing on the break he pushed on the gas. The next thing I see is the Fun Shuttle jumping up the curb and right into the front door of the 7-11 store. Somehow he was able to turn the car so it didn't go right through the store. Instead, it was parallel to the storefront. After that he smashes into the big cement garbage can and it goes soaring in the air and slams to the ground. He then gets high centered on the can. He tries to get off it and stars flooring the gas. When his tires finally catch, he peels out and hits another car in the process making it do a 360.
After that we did not know what to do. We didn't have any clothes! Sure enough the police came and we tried to tell them what we were doing but did not believe us and made us walk the line and do the Breathalyzer. Of course we hadn't been drinking and they us go. And yes we did get some pretty weird looks. To top it all off, after all the dust had settled we got together in the parking lot and one of the other guys said to our poor friend who just created mayhem "Sorry about your car man but... that was awesome!"


  1. In high school we not only did weird things to ask and answer for dances, we were weird at the dance. One year for Jr. Prom our group decided to dress up in military gear. (I'm old and this was before terrorism and gangs) We were having too much fun pretending to be on a mission that we weren't allowed to enter the dance. Oh well it was fun anyway and I would probably do it again.

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